Monday, November 2, 2009

He's Huge In Japan

Three reasons why Mr. Baseball starring Keanu Reeves failed.
(1) It seems belittling to bestow such a reductive moniker on Keanu Reeves as "Mr. Baseball" and the public could not accept it.
(2) The tag line "He's the biggest thing to hit Japan since Godzilla" does not need the qualifier "since Godzilla". It implies Godzilla is bigger than Keanu and that's just silly. Silly like a man without a penis.
(3) Keanu Reeves actually has no legs and hovers his body around the sets of movies. Every time you have seen Keanu Reeves in pants they have been digitally inserted. This, apparently, looks very strange when they're baseball pants.

That last one is the reason the Japanese are so frightened in the poster. That and the mustache, Japanese people hate mustaches.

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