Keanu Reeves Lives In My Mail Box

Can we take a moment to lament the loss of the ethnic comedy? A hip, urban hustler (black of course) moves in with an uptight white guy and his family? Logic dictates the invention of speed golf, the black guy winning a 5K road race by cheating and an impromptu episode of Soul Train breaking out during a wine tasting in the yuppie, suburban home. God, I miss the mid-90's. Somewhere in heaven Phil Hartman is filming this movie.

On a separate note, our one regret in life is not making this website Sinbad related. We can't photoshop every mediocre actor/comedian into hilarious posters, we are but men!

The Keanuteer

I'm not saying Keanu Reeves defeated the Nazi's but I am saying in 1941 the U.S. government built a Nazi-fighting robot that after years of a bleak melancholy existence was finally turned into a real boy. And that boy may or may not have been Keanu Reeves.

The Keanu Whisperer

Fuck you, Mr. Ed.

Keanu Act aka Sista Reeves

We continue to celebrate Nun Week here at neverforgetkeanu.

Aren't we about due for another ironic witness protection movie? A movie that takes the "fish out of water" story line from Witness but infuses it with abysmal, unwatchable attempts at humor. Tommy Lee Jones is trying but he's just one man! A football player hides as a ballet teacher, an NBA player hides as the caddy for a down on his luck professional golfer, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz take a gay cruise together. Fuck this is easy. We could have three fucking movies like this every fucking week! Fuck!

"Keanu-Re-Mi"

The hills are alive with the sound of Keanu.

Also, everyone talks about J. Robert Oppenheimer creating the atomic bomb but no one brings up how he genetically engineered Keanu Reeves to defeat the Nazis. Fuck you, history.

If You Wannabe My Keanu

Who can forget the hit songs "Spice Up Your Keanu", "Keanube", "Say You'll Be Keanu", and "2 Become Keanu"? And who can forget masturbating to the music videos?

Not me. Or my parents couch.