The Day The Earth Stood Still

Someone in Hollywood gets it. Every single movie ever made would be better with Keanu Reeves. If you disagree you are a liar or a genie with the ability to transform lies into truth. But that's impossible because all the genie's committed suicide after the double whammy of Keanu Charles "The Chuckster" Reeves not portraying them theatrically. So I guess that makes you a liar, you dickface.

But I can only assume some Hollywood producer not content to digitally insert Mr. Reeves into classic films is now remaking every, single film in American history with Keanu in the lead. Kudos to you, sir! I would have chosen Birth of the Nation or The Jazz Singer or something equally racist but I guess you have to ease the public into this. Not everyone is as forward thinking as we here at Never Forget Keanu.

We support you mighty Hollywood producers and offer our humble services.

Also, is it time for a Speed 2 remake? I am insulted you even had to ask!

Keanu Minds

A Marine officer (played by Keanu Reeves) leaves her military career behind to become an inner-city English teacher. With a style all her own she gets her class of tough-as-nails kids to trust her and to believe in themselves.

Little known fact: the original title of the song was "Keanu's Paradise." Months later, Reeves would go on to kill Weird "Al" Yankovic for parodying Coolio.

The Twelve Days of Keanu

We here at neverforgetkeanu hope everyone had a safe, Keanu-filled holiday and New Year. As we all know, Keanu is the only answer to the War on Christmas.

Keanu Reeves Lives In My Mail Box

Can we take a moment to lament the loss of the ethnic comedy? A hip, urban hustler (black of course) moves in with an uptight white guy and his family? Logic dictates the invention of speed golf, the black guy winning a 5K road race by cheating and an impromptu episode of Soul Train breaking out during a wine tasting in the yuppie, suburban home. God, I miss the mid-90's. Somewhere in heaven Phil Hartman is filming this movie.

On a separate note, our one regret in life is not making this website Sinbad related. We can't photoshop every mediocre actor/comedian into hilarious posters, we are but men!

The Keanuteer

I'm not saying Keanu Reeves defeated the Nazi's but I am saying in 1941 the U.S. government built a Nazi-fighting robot that after years of a bleak melancholy existence was finally turned into a real boy. And that boy may or may not have been Keanu Reeves.

The Keanu Whisperer

Fuck you, Mr. Ed.

Keanu Act aka Sista Reeves

We continue to celebrate Nun Week here at neverforgetkeanu.

Aren't we about due for another ironic witness protection movie? A movie that takes the "fish out of water" story line from Witness but infuses it with abysmal, unwatchable attempts at humor. Tommy Lee Jones is trying but he's just one man! A football player hides as a ballet teacher, an NBA player hides as the caddy for a down on his luck professional golfer, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz take a gay cruise together. Fuck this is easy. We could have three fucking movies like this every fucking week! Fuck!

"Keanu-Re-Mi"

The hills are alive with the sound of Keanu.

Also, everyone talks about J. Robert Oppenheimer creating the atomic bomb but no one brings up how he genetically engineered Keanu Reeves to defeat the Nazis. Fuck you, history.

If You Wannabe My Keanu

Who can forget the hit songs "Spice Up Your Keanu", "Keanube", "Say You'll Be Keanu", and "2 Become Keanu"? And who can forget masturbating to the music videos?

Not me. Or my parents couch.